i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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