So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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