Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I love having hate sex.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
