im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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