I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
