So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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