Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
