He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
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Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
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we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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