can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize