dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
