Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
