she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
