I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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