I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
there is puke in my bra ... again
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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