Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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