I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
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Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
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At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize