Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
