Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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