Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
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I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
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What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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