I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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