We're facebook friends in real life
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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