You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
