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btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
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