no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN