You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.