Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
21 Horny People Confess Their Boldest Sexual Advances
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.