Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
two words: eviction party
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.