you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
