now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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