mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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