We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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