id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
FUCK WHALES
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