Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
