Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
