on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he puts the penis in happiness.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
