My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
