If i come over, it means nothing
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
