I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
soo... how was my night?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
