...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
