wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
