yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
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