last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
