Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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