WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
