So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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