Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
