I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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