she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We need to get me chipped asap
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
