"it" just moved
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
