bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
