We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
