Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
