brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
