Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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