just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
