I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
