Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
