I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
These tits shall not be calmed
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
