Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize