To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
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Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
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We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize