my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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