i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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