I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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