Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Just pee around me
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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