Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
